All new! All spectacular!
Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! Step right up and prepare to be amazed!
He’s incredible! He’s unbelievable! You’ll be dazzled. You’ll be astounded!
You ain’t prepared ‘cause he’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before!
Don’t be bashful, don’t be shy, step right up for a tantalizing glimpse of what’s in store.
That old thing?
No, no, no, Clementine. He isn’t what he used to be and he isn’t where he used to be.
The management hasn’t changed but he’s a whole new animal.
He’s a man of mystery and wonder you won’t believe.
That’s not all! He has adorable pets, a plethora of toys, balloons, souvenirs, delectable snacks and beverages, get your fortune told, go on a boat ride, have glass of wine, experience the healthful effects of gourmet food, and more!
Tickets? You don’t need tickets, just rip ‘em right up!
FREE! Yes! You heard me right; free, always free.
No purchase necessary, come as often as you like.
All it takes to earn this fabulous experience is a few small emails and a large sense of humor.
Ok, at least I’ll admit my profile starts with a pitch.
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